


Kollektivet (Caught In a Landslide)

by hellagroovy



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Bipolar Disorder, Drug Use, Flirting, Friendship, M/M, Roommates, Sex, Violence, angst???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-04 13:53:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10280042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellagroovy/pseuds/hellagroovy
Summary: ”I can’t go back there. I can’t go back there, you gotta understand.””Alright,” Eskild repeated. He bit his bottom lip slightly. He was too kind for this world, and he didn’t even want to think about what his roommates would say if he dragged a complete stranger home.So he didn’t.Think about it.Instead, he sighed slightly and squeezed his eyes shut. He was so going to regret this. But he didn’t want to leave the poor boy all alone on the street when it was dark and cold outside. ”Why don’t you come with me then? You can crash on my couch.”*In which Isak and Even are roommates.





	1. Part 1: Flyttingen

Jesus,

He was drunk. 

Not the _I-am-the-king-of-the-world-I-love-everybody_ kind of drunk. More of the _I-hate-everything-please-let-me-pass-away-from-alcohol-poisoning_ kind of drunk. The kind of drunk that rang in your ears and hurt in your throat. Man, he was going to have a hell of a hangover when he woke up in the morning. If he woke up, that is. 

He had downed two tequila shots with a dude in a _way too tight_ v-neck, and he  _really_ couldn’t handle tequila (but who does, anyway?). He had also consumed at least three beers, and he would buy another one but his debit card got declined. 

So at the moment, he just sat there. Alone, in the bar. On a Tuesday. 

There were only older men at the bar. Normally, that would make him feel little bit uneasy, but not today. He didn’t care today. This day couldn’t get any worse. It hadn’t exactly been a good day. Not so sound cliché or anything, but it had probably been like, the worst day of his life. And he was only 17 (!). His head was pounding and he had this incredibly uneasy feeling in his gut. He _knew_ that he would throw up any minute now. A boy his age (and size, he was in fact quite skinny) shouldn’t drink that much on such a short time, he knew that from earlier experience. So he stood up from where he sat, almost knocked over his empty beer glass and started to make his way outside. A man dressed in a marine blue sweater tried to grab onto his bicep, but he pushed away his hands and he could hear an annoyed voice grumble ”Jesus, you don’t have to be so harsh, man” behind his back. But he didn’t care. 

He had to get out. 

He had to get away. 

As soon as he stumbled outside he bent over and puked all over the pavement. A lady who passed by yelled at him, but he only ignored her.

Devastated, he sat down on the ground with his back pressed against the red brick wall. It was only April and it was still pretty chilly outside and he was only wearing a thin bomber jacket, but he didn’t care. The coldness made him at feel a little bit more alive. He leaned his head against the cool wall and closed his eyes. The entire world was spinning now. The pinching feeling in his stomach was gone, but he could still hear the screams and shouts inside his head. He couldn’t turn it off. He just wanted to forget what he had witnessed earlier today.

”Hey, are you okay?” 

He opened his eyes again. A boy, probably in his early twenties, stood in front of him. He leaned forward slightly so he could get a better look at him. He had red short hair, kind eyes and a concerned look on his pale freckly face.

”Yeah. I’m great, man. Fantastic actually,” he answered and shook his head slightly. He knew that he wasn’t very convincing. He was indeed an awful liar. 

”You don’t look that fantastic, actually,” he boy (man? Boyman?) answered and nodded slightly. ”Can I sit down?”

He shrugged. ”Sure, man, whatever it’s a free world.”

The Boyman brushed the ground next to him, and sat down. ”What’s your name?” he asked. 

”Isak.”

”Alright Isak,” the Boyman answered. ”I’m Eskild.”

”Pleasure,” he said and spluttered a little. ”I would shake your hand but I just puked _everywhere_ so I don’t think you want to do that. I wouldn’t want to do that.”

Eskild let out a quiet chuckle. ”No, I’m fine, thank you,” he gave him a soft smile. ”So, Isak. Tell me, where do you live?”

Isak closed his eyes again and shrugged slightly. ”I don’t live anywhere. At least not anymore,” he shook his head. 

His comment made Eskild frown a little. ”You gotta live somewhere. You’re like what, 16?”

”17 actually,” Isak corrected. 

”17, sorry.”

Isak only shook his head again, his eyes still closed. ”I can’t go back there. I can’t go back there, you gotta understand.” 

”Alright,” Eskild repeated. He bit his bottom lip slightly. He was too kind for this world, and he didn’t even want to _think_ about what his roommates would say if he dragged a complete stranger home. 

So he didn’t. 

Think about it. 

Instead, he sighed slightly and squeezed his eyes shut. He was _so_ _going to regret this._ But he didn’t want to leave the poor boy all alone on the street when it was dark and cold outside. ”Why don’t you come with me then? You can crash on my couch.” 

When Eskild opened his eyes again, he was met by Isak’s green ones who stared right back at him. They were slightly red, almost as if he was about to cry. But maybe it was just the liquor. ”Really?” he whispered softly. 

Eskild sighed, again. ”Yes. Really. I live right around the corner.”

Isak nodded furiously. He looked away. Looked at a grey car that passed by them where they sat, then at his vomit a few decimeters away from him and then back at the older man next to him. 

”Let’s go then,” Eskild said and stood up. I stretched out his hand for Isak to take, which he did, slightly uncertain. 

They stumbled home. Literally. Isak was _so drunk_ and Eskild was kind of concerned. Did he get this drunk often? A walk that normally took Eskild around six minutes now took fifteen. He had his arm securely around Isak’s torso and Isak kept talking about the world and the universe and the humanity, and Eskild didn’t even follow what he was saying anymore, he just nodded. He almost had to drag Isak up the stairs. He fell twice. And Eskild only lived on the second floor. There was an elevator, but it probably hadn’t been renovated since the 1950’s and unlike his 85 years old neighbor, he actually enjoyed his life. 

Eskild unlocked the door, and Isak fell into the hallway. He was glad that Linn – who was the only one at home – rarely left her room. Eskild had to admit that he was a little bit worried about Linn, and he usually tried to drag her out of the apartment to _live a little_. But not today. Eskild often brought guys back to their shared apartment, but he didn’t want his roommates to see Isak. He didn’t want them to get the wrong message. Eskild would _never_ take advantage of a younger boy. Especially not an unconscious one. 

Isak was constantly talking. He didn’t look sad or anything. Not anymore. He stood next to the window in the living room and talked about (and with) three cactuses that stood in the windowsill while Eskild quickly got the couch ready for Isak. 

”You can sleep here,” Eskild finally said and pointed at the sofa. Isak walked up to him and flopped down on the couch.

Eskild went into the kitchen to get the younger boy a glass of water, but when he returned to the living room Isak was already asleep. 

Eskild exhaled slowly. 

Jesus,

This kid was a mess. 

 

Isak woke up the next morning by the sun. It was shining right trough the thin curtains and it hit his face. He could hear birds chirp outside through the thin walls. He turned around, and almost fell out of the couch when he noticed that a girl with red long hair stood in the doorway and stared at him. She was wearing grey sweats and a matching sweatshirt. She held a cup in her left hand and lifted it to her mouth to take a sip of the hot liquid. 

”Who the fuck are you?” Isak croaked, his voice all crusty from sleeping. 

The girl raised a red eyebrow. ”Who are you?” she said. She had a calm and pretty deep voice. 

Isak groaned and sat up. He rubbed his hands across his face, it felt all numb. ”Where am I?” 

She took another swig of the liquid in her mug. ”You’re in my apartment.”

Panic suddenly flashed through his entire body and his eyes widened a little. What even happened yesterday? ”Did we, uh…,” Isak began but the girl cut him off. 

”Dear god,” she said and shook her head, then she opened her mouth again. ”Eskild!” she shouted. 

And only a few seconds later, a boy with very red hair and a very sleepy facial expression became visible in the doorway. He stood behind the girl and raised his eyebrows slightly. ”Oh,” he, Eskild apparently, said. ”Isak’s awake.”

Isak frowned. ”What, eh– who are you?”

The boy was obviously very confused. 

”You don’t remember me?” Eskild walked over to where Isak sat on the couch and sat down on the coffee table in front of him. 

Isak shook his head. ”No, I eh, I don’t remember anything really,” he admitted. 

Eskild licked his lips and nodded. But he didn’t say anything.

Isak shifted a little where he sat on the couch. ”What did I do?”

”I saw you puke outside a gay bar two blocks away, and you said that you couldn’t go home so I brought you back here,” he shrugged.

Isak felt his cheeks redden a little bit. This was humiliating. ”Thanks,” he mumbled. 

”It’s no big deal, I didn’t feel like leaving you all alone in that state,” Eskild said casually. ”Do you want to tell me why you can’t go home?”

And Isak thought about it for a minute. It would be nice to finally let it all out, and just talk about it for once. But he still shook his head in response. Hell, he didn’t know the guy. 

”That’s okay too,” Eskild said. He was so supportive and understanding that Isak was a little bit take aback. Eskild stood up and stretched his arms above his head. ”Do you want breakfast or anything? I can make coffee.”

”Thanks for letting me stay here and everything but I really gotta get going,” Isak mumbled and stood up. He had to get to class after all. It was Wednesday and his head was pounding like crazy. But he had to go to school, he couldn’t afford skipping class. 

”Alright,” Eskild nodded. 

He followed Isak to the door, and Isak swiftly tied his shoes. He grabbed his bomber jacket from where he had dumped it on the floor next to the shoe rack yesterday. Eskild leaned against the wall. His arms were crossed and he was studying Isak intensely. He looked so young. So vulnerable. 

Isak thanked him for letting him stay the night, again. And then he took off. 

Eskild still stood in the hallway and stared at the door. _What the hell_ , he thought and then he pressed down the handle and ran down the stairs, he almost fell on the last step.  Isak hadn’t gotten far. He was actually right outside the building when Eskild pushed the main door open. Isak turned around and looked at him with a surprised facial expression. ”Did I forget anything or–”

”We have an extra bedroom, if you’re interested,” Eskild blurted out.

 

And that was how Isak ended up in the hallway of his new home two days later. He had a duffel bag in his left hand and his school back thrown over his right shoulder. Most of his stuff were still at his mom’s house, but he didn’t feel like taking it with him. It would probably just bring up a lot of bad memories from his childhood home. Isak saw this as an opportunity to start over again. 

He convinced himself that fresh start was all he needed. It _was_ _spring_ and _everything_. 

Convincing his dad on the other hand, hadn’t been that easy. Isak’s father had left him and his mom all alone a few months earlier. He look his younger sister Lea with him and moved to an apartment outside the city. You see, Isak’s mom was sick. Like, mentally sick. He didn’t really know exactly what kind of illness she really had but lately, she had started to scare the crap out of him. He had been calling his dad late in the evenings, begging him to take him with him, but his dad had just answered that it was important that Isak continued his studies at Hartvig Nissens skole. 

But Isak got enough. ”I can’t do this anymore,” Isak said when they had met two days earlier. ”I gotta get out of there dad, this apartment it’s … It’s even closer to school. I need to get away from there, dad,” he had pleaded and his father had been looking at him with such pity that he finally agreed on paying Isak’s monthly rent. Most people might have thought that moving into a shared apartment with three complete strangers was a terrible idea, but Isak was way too desperate to even care by now. He might have lied to his dad about the fact that he didn’t know Eskild, and he might have lied about the fact that the rest of his roommates were really nice, even though Isak had never met them. 

”You can just leave your stuff there in the hallway,” Eskild brought him back to reality, and almost as if he had been reading Isak’s mind he added: ”you have to meet the rest of the kollektiv, they are all in the living room. Come on.”

Isak dropped his leather backpack onto the floor and slipped out of his Airmax. He followed Eskild into the living room. Three people sat on the couch where he had slept only two nights earlier. 

”You’ve met Linn already,” Eskild said and nodded at the red haired girl to the left. 

Isak nodded and smiled slightly. 

”That’s Noora,” Eskild said and pointed at the girl next to Linn. Isak recognized her as one of his good friends Eva’s friend. ”She doesn’t live here anymore because she got in love and dumped us for her boyfriend. But you are here because of that, so you should be grateful.”

”You go to Nissen, don’t you?” Noora asked Isak and raised one perfectly plucked eyebrow. 

”Yeah,” Isak breathed. ”You’re Eva’s friend, aren’t you?”

Noora nodded. ”And you’re Jonas friend, right?”

”Yeah,” he repeated and smiled softly. Jonas was his best friend. They had known each other for ages, and they still went to school together. Eva and Jonas dated a few months ago though, and before Isak and Jonas became friends with Mahdi and Magnus in their Spanish class, he spent most of the fall term alone. 

Eskild looked at Isak, and then at Noora and then back at Isak again. ”Alright so you guys already know each other? Fabulous,” he grinned. ”We only have little sweet Even left, then.”

He nodded at a blonde boy who sat to the right of Noora. He looked _everything_ but small and sweet. Even was wearing a red sweatshirt, his hair was styled to perfection. A very worn out sketch book balanced on his knee. He had been watching Isak intensely ever since he entered the room. His eyes had the most incredible blue color. _Like the bottom of a swimming pool_ , Isak thought. 

Isak realized that he was staring, and he blinked twice before held out his hand for Even to shake. ”Nice meeting you,” he said and Even only nodded in response. 

”Great!” Eskild exclaimed and clapped his hands together. ”I’ll show you your room. It’s right around the corner. The walls are pretty thin so you better keep it down if you’re bringing anyone home.”

Isak almost choked. Even laughed at him, and Noora just shook her head. ”You better just get used to it,” Noora sighed. 

”I think you’re going to be a perfect addition to our little family,” Eskild grinned. ”By the way, Noora, you’re cooking for everybody tonight. We’re celebrating with dinner.”

”But I don’t even live here?” she protested, but Eskild didn’t seem to care. He just pushed Isak towards his new bedroom instead. 

The room was quite small, not that Isak had expected anything huge. There was a 120 centimeter broad bed, an empty bookshelf and a couple of empty storage boxes from IKEA on the floor. A single note was taped to the white walls. Isak took a step closer to take a look at it. _Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always_ it said and he frowned a little, but he remained quiet. 

”All good?” Eskild said when he returned to the room with Isak’s bags. 

”Yeah, thank you,” Isak smiled. 

”I’m pretty sure Linn has a couple of spare linens somewhere,” he said and Isak nodded. 

Isak started unpacking his bags. He didn't have much stuff with him, mostly school books and clothes and such. He took another look at the note on the wall. He read it once again. Then he carefully peeled it off the wall and put it on one of the empty storage boxes in the bookshelf. Then he sat down on the bed and looked out of the window. 

This was almost too good to be true. 

 

Noora turned out to be a great cook.

”This is really good,” Isak mumbled when they all sat down around the coffee table in the living room (since the kitchen table was way too small for all of them).

Noora smiled in response. 

”Hello,” Even said. ”I actually helped. I chopped all of the vegetables.”

”Yeah, you’re _really good_ at chopping vegetables, honey,” Eskild teased him. 

Even threw a carrot at him. ”Shut up,” he laughed. 

Moments later, they all finished their food. Both Linn and Eskild excused themselves, and Noora said that she had to head back home to her place before it got way too late. And then Isak was left alone with Even. Even with the good looking skin and the soft blue eyes … Isak was staring again. But he couldn’t help it. Even just looked so … Esthetically pleasing? 

”So, how do you like this place so far?” Even asked. 

Isak looked straight at him now. ”It’s really great, actually.”

” _Actually_ ,” Even laughed. 

Isak smiled a little. ”I didn’t mean to sound rude or anything,” he apologized. ”I just didn’t know what to expect. Or something.”

Even nodded. ”I get that,” he said softly. 

They both became quiet. And Isak looked away from Even. He looked at the television, and the used plates on the table in front of them. Then up at Even again. 

”Why did you move here?” Even asked suddenly. 

His question caught Isak a little off guard. He licked his lips and shrugged a little. 

”What?” Even raised his eyebrows. ”Do you just want to, pretend that you’re an adult or something?” he joked. 

Isak rolled his eyes. ”Nah,” he said and exhaled deeply. ”There were just so much shit going at home. My dad kinda dumped me and left me alone with my mom and she’s like, crazy.”

”Crazy?” Even frowned slightly and Isak fidgeted a little where he sat. 

”Yeah like, I don’t even know she’s nuts,” he finally said. Isak had no idea of why he told _Even_ about this. Jonas was the only one who knew about his fucked up family. But there was something about Even, and the way he looked at him, that made Isak feel that he could trust him. And he  _wanted to_ trust him. ”She thinks that the world is going to end and shit. That my uncle is Donald Trump and such.”

Even raised his eyebrows again. 

”My uncle is _not_ Donald Trump,” Isak chuckled and Even exhaled deeply. 

”I became slightly worried for a second,” Even smiled. 

Isak took a deep breath. ”No, but. Things just became so hard and I feel like I’m better off without mentally ill people in my life right now,” Isak confessed.

Even only nodded. He looked away for a second. ”I think I’m gonna go to bed,” he said after a while.

”Yeah,” Isak agreed. ”Goodnight then, Even.”

”Goodnight, Isak,” Even answered, but he didn’t look at him. 

 

*

 

**Chatten**

Jonas (23:17): 

_how’s the new place isak??_

 

Magnus (23:18):

_YEAH oh my god tell us_

_do you have any hot roommates??_

 

Jonas (23:18):

_magnus i s2g_

 

Magnus (23:19)

_what??_

 

Mahdi (23:21):

_goddammit magnus why you gotta be like that?_

 

Magnus (23:21):

_WHAT_

_??????_

 

Mahdi (23:21):

_you're so damn extra mags_

 

Isak (23:21):

_halla_

_It’s great_

 

Jonas (23:22):

 _yeah_?

 

Isak (23:23):

_yeah, Noora used to live in my room?_

_you know the girl with red lipstick??_

 

Mahdi (23:23):

_Yeah_

 

Jonas (23:24):

_rEallt_

_really*_

_?_

 

Magnus (23:25):

_She’s together with William right????_

 

Isak (23:26):

_ikr what are the odds?_

_I think so? i believe they live together_

 

Magnus (23:26): 

_serr?_

 

Isak (23:27):

_yeah_

_but gutta_

_I gotta go_

_goodnight guys_

 

Mahdi (23:28):

_alright goodnight man_

 

*

 

Isak felt very hopeful when he crawled under the covers that night.

He had new fresh linens, blue and grey, and they felt soft and smooth against his bare torso. He had a new room, a new place to stay and three new roommates (and they all seemed to be really cool?!). Everything had been so  _so_ bad only a few days earlier, and suddenly his life seemed to be so good? He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply before he sank even deeper into one of his pillows.  _This is too good to be true_ he thought again.

Isak fell asleep with a soft smile on his lips. 

 


	2. Part 2: Usikkerhet

Isak had always thought that his life would change rapidly once he moved somewhere else. But after living in kollektivet for two whole weeks, he realized that that wasn't the case at all. Sure, moving away from home came with a lot of responsibilities. But apart from him sleeping in another bed in another part of Oslo, nothing really changed. He still went to the same school, hung out with the same people, played the same video games and saw the same series on Netflix. 

He felt happy though. He could invite his friends over without feeling afraid or embarrassed of his mom, _and_ he was never really alone anymore. He truly enjoyed living together with Linn, Eskild and Even. Noora visited them continually. It was almost like she still lived there, there were food in the fridge with her name on and everything. Isak stole it sometimes, even though Eskild had been very strict with the fact that stealing food was a _terrible crime_. Hell, Isak needed that food more than Noora did. He was just a broke teenage boy after all. She had another apartment together with her older boyfriend, and okay, Isak had never been there, but he was pretty damn sure that they had edible food in the fridge. 

He went grocery shopping with Jonas one day. 

"There's so many thing that I've never thought about buying ever before," Isak groaned. He stood in the shower aisle and looked for a nail clipper. Jonas found one with a zebra pattern and Isak simply just tossed in his shopping cart. 

He had never thought about how expensive food was either. "Did you know that Norway is like the most expensive country in the entire world?" he had asked Eskild one afternoon when he came home from school. Eskild had just laughed at him and told him that he should get an extra job. 

But Isak didn't have time to work. His school work stressed him out enough already. So Isak basically lived on cheeseburgers from McDonald's and instant noodles nowadays. "It's cheap?" he outburst when Noora had looked at his shelf in the cupboard with an incredibly skeptical facial expression. 

Isak hadn't really talked to Even since his first night at kollektivet though. Thy saw each other occasionally, of course, they lived together after all. He bumped into him dressed in only his boxers in the bathroom in the middle of the night, and they sometimes prepared their breakfast together. In silence though. Even didn't really speak to him. Not that Isak knew what they would talk about, but hell, he had gotten closer to _Linn_ during these last two weeks that he had gotten to Even. And Linn didn't like talking. 

Isak was pretty sure she didn't like people at all, actually. 

Even however, always took his cheese sandwiches and his black coffee (who the fuck drinks black coffee, by the way? Pretentious bitch) with him and closed his bedroom door behind him, and Isak always ate his breakfast alone. Eskild went to his job much earlier than both Isak and Even, since they were both in high school. He knew that Even was a third year at Elvebakken videregående skole. Isak had been at a couple of parties hosted by students who went to Elvebakken. What Linn did, he really didn't know. 

"Hey Eskild?" Isak stood in the doorway to Eskild's bedroom. 

"Hm?" he looked up from the magazine he held in his hands and met Isak's eyes. 

"Have you and Even talked about me?" he asked and leaned his head against the wall. 

"No? How come?"

Isak shrugged. "I don't think he likes me,” he confessed. 

Isak's comment made Eskild frown. "Why wouldn't he like you? What's not to like? Apart from the grumpiness, and the stickiness, of course."

Isak rolled his eyes at Eskild's response. "Seriøst Eskild," he groaned. "He never talks to me and he always leaves the room when I enter. Haven't you noticed that?" 

Eskild put down the magazine on his bed and shook his head. "Nah, I don't know Isak. I want you guys to get along, since you live together. But you have to ask him about it yourself." 

Isak licked his lips and nodded slightly. Eskild was probably right. 

 

"Tonight, everybody, is a movie night," Eskild announced. It was Friday, and Isak had (surprisingly) zero plans for the evening.

Even bit his lower lip. "Sonja is coming over," he said. 

Isak knew that he had a girlfriend, and the fact that he did didn't really surprise him (just, look at the boy. He is drop dead gorgeous (Isak would never admit that, though (no homo))). He had never met her, Sonja, though, so he looked up from the sandwich he was currently preparing and faced Even instead. 

”She can join? No problem. We have at least three packages of popcorn,” Eskild suggested.

Even sighed. "I don't know," he said. "We saw a pretty damn bad movie last time we had a movie night Eskild, and–”

"Shh," Eskild interrupted him by pressing a pale finger to Even's plump lips. "Shh, baby, shhh."

"What the fuck?" Isak frowned at the sight. He still hadn’t gotten used to Eskild’s actions. Linn, who quietly sat on the counter right next to Isak, didn’t seem to find Eskild’s gesture it weird at all. That man sure was something else. 

"What if you get to pick the movie," Eskild said and looked straight at Even. Even stared back at him. Something in his eyes changed. 

"Well, that changes everything," he mumbled against Eskild's index finger. 

"Did you know," Eskild began before he turned to face Isak instead, "that even is a _huge_ film snob."

 _No, I didn't. Because he doesn't speak to me. He ignores me completely,_ Isak thought. 

"I'm not," Even quickly argued. 

"You are too."

"Alright, maybe I'm a little bit of a film snob, but there's nothing wrong with that."

"He forced me to stay up till _half past six_ in the morning to watch the Oscar's," Eskild exclaimed, waving his hands erratically. 

"A lot of people do that," Even said.

"You saw _all of the movies_ nominated for Best Picture."

"Well," Even began. He licked his lips slightly before continuing. "They were all very good."

Eskild just shook his head and sat down on the chair on the other side of the table. 

"We're having a movie night. You're picking the movie. Sonja is joining us. Full stop." 

 

Sonja was _beautiful_ (of course). She had short blonde hair that framed her sharp face perfectly. Isak was pretty sure he had seen her in a movie or a commercial or something. 

She stood in the kitchen and talked to Noora when Isak entered, and they both turned to face him. 

”Hallo,” he said. 

”Hallo,” she, Sonja, answered and extended her hand for Isak to take. ”I’m Sonja,” she said. 

Her hand was cool and soft. Her nails were painted dark red. Heck, everything about this girl seemed to be just, perfect. 

”Isak.”

”Pleasure,” she nodded. 

She continued her conversation with Noora, and Isak filled a glass with orange juice. He drank it slowly. Even joined them in the kitchen minutes later, he smiled widely at Sonja before he wrapped an arm around her slim waist. 

There was something about seeing him with Sonja that made Isak’s stomach turn upside down. It was a strange feeling, but he didn’t like what he saw. He looked at the orange liquid in his glass instead. He wasn’t _jealous_ of Even or anything. Isak had been in relationships before. He dated this girl, Sara, last year. She went down on him on New Year’s eve, which was quite nice, and then they just started dating. Sara was cute and smelled nice, but he had never felt anything special though. 

Okay. Maybe he was  _a little bit jealous_ after all. A little bit jealous that he never had been with anyone who looked at him the way Even looked at Sonja. 

He looked up from his orange juice, and noticed that Even was _staring at him_. Like, really staring. Isak automatically brought his hands up to his face. Did he have food between his teeth or something? Sonja was still talking to Noora, and Even’s arm were still tightly wrapped around her waist, but his eyes were on Isak. It made him feel a little bit uneasy, but Isak couldn’t take his eyes off Even’s. 

Then Eskild bolted into the kitchen to announce that the movie was staring in _five minutes_ and Even finally turned away his gaze. 

 _That was strange_ , Isak thought. It was almost as if Even was trying to show Sonja off. _Look-at-my-girlfriend-she-looks-like-a-supermodel_. 

Isak shrugged the thought away. He was being ridiculous. 

 

Even had picked this movie called _Moonlight_. He described is a cinematic masterpiece. Isak was skeptical.

Linn and Isak popped popcorn in the kitchen. They poured the white puffy snacks into two large bowls. He went out into the living room and offered one of the bowls to Even. 

”Nah thanks,” he said. ”I don’t eat popcorn.”

Isak raised an eyebrow. ”You don’t eat popcorn?”

Even shook his head. 

 _This boy is just getting more and more strange_ , Isak thought. Who _doesn’t_ eat popcorn?

”Are you on some kind of diet or something?” Isak asked. 

His question made Even laugh out loud. 

”No,” Sonja interjected. ”He’s just traumatized for life because a popcorn shell got stuck in his throat for an entire week and he had to go to the emergency room.”

”Serr?” Isak raised his eyebrows in disbelief. 

Even groaned. ”Why do you always have to embarrass me, Sonja?” 

”It’s true, though,” she grabbed a handful of popcorn. ”It was the worst week of my life, you were such a pain in the ass.”

"It was the worst week of  _your life_?" Even snorted. 

Sonja shook her head and popped a popcorn into her mouth. ”You were so grumpy. All mopey.”

Thankfully, Eskild broke off their argument by turning the off the lights.  

Isak had to admit that the movie was quite good. It was about this black boy called Chiron, and Isak was pretty sure he was gay. Isak didn’t have anything against gay people, he knew that Eskild was gay for instance, but the topic made him feel a little bit uncomfortable. Jonas used to hang out with this guy in year one, Elias, who often used to call Isak gay for no reason. Why, he didn’t know. Because Isak _was not gay_. He hooked up with girls every weekend. Isak _was straight_. 

Watching the two boys kiss on the television screen made him feel _very_ awkward, though. He had to look away. Then he realized that Even was looking at him again. Exactly like he had done in the kitchen earlier that evening. Sonja was curled up against his shoulder, and Even’s right hand was resting on her arm. 

But Even was looking at him. The two boys were kissing on the television and Even was looking at him. Isak could feel his mouth fall open, just a bit. He could feel his palms turn slightly sweaty. He had the strangest feeling in his gut. 

Then the scene ended and Even faced the television again.

 

*

 

”I hooked up with this chick, who, ehh … I think, legit, had a cat’s tongue. I’m sure if it was a tongue, or if it was a fake tongue–”

”Fake tongue?”

”Yeah it was just like hooking with a cat.”

”Have you kissed a cat before? Was it like, a normal size or what …?”

”No! It was tiny, that’s the thing. And thin too–”

”Cat sized as well?”

”I didn’t see the tongue, but–”  
”Yeah, yeah, we get it …”

It was Monday, and Isak sat in the school’s cafeteria with Jonas, Mahdi and Magnus. They were talking about a party they attended on Saturday. Isak had been at home. He had said that he was going to meet his dad, which was a complete lie. He had been at kollektivet. In his bed. Thinking about life. 

Then his phone vibrated in his pocket. 

 

 **Mamma**  

(12:31)

_Jeg har sagt deg. Vær modig och sterk!!! La deg ikke skremme og mist ikKE motet. For herren din Gud er med deg i all fred. Han er med dig_

 

Isak sighed deeply and clicked the screen black again. His mom was always sending the most incoherent text messages. He never answered them, though. 

Jonas raised his eyebrows in question. ”Are you alright man?”

”Yeah, yeah,” Isak said. ”It’s was just mamma.”

”What about her?” Mahdi said and took a sip of his Coke. 

Isak hesitated. Neither Magnus or Mahdi knew about Isak’s mom. ”She’s just stressed.”  
Mahdi snorted. ”Stressed? My mom has been stressed since the day I was born,” he said. 

Isak glanced at him and Magnus. They didn’t seem weird, or anything. Jonas, on the other hand, licked his lips slowly. He just looked at him. 

Why was everybody  _staring at him_ all the time?

 

*

 

**Kattehookern og vennene hans**

 

(18:23)

 _You have changed the group name to_ Kattehookern og vennene hans

 

Magnus (19:05)

_What the FUCK Isak???_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed the second chapter! i've been writing constantly the last 24 hours, hahah.  
> thank you har all of your support and all of the kudos!! really nice. it means a lot to me.


	3. Part 3: Platespiller

Even sat in the kitchen when Isak came home from school. His computer stood on the kitchen table in front of him, and he held a text book in his hands. 

They hadn’t talked since the movie night last week. Isak hesitated. ”Hallo,” he said.

”Halla,” Even looked up from his book. He looked good. Soft. Clean. Unlike Isak, who had been wearing the same grey sweatshirt for _at least_ three days. 

”Do you mind if I sit here?” he asked and pointed at one of the kitchen chairs. 

Even shook his head. ”Not at all,” he answered, licking his lips. ”There’s coffee in the pot.”

”Sweet,” Isak breathed. He poured the hot liquid into a mug and added a splash of milk before he pulled his computer out of his backpack and slumped down on the chair in front of Even.

Isak was quite good in school. He had always had easy to learn, so he found studying pretty enjoyable. Even on the other hand, didn’t seem feel the same way about his school work, because they had only been working in silence for ten minutes, tops, before Even groaned out loud and placed his book on the table with a soft thud. 

”I need a break,” he informed Isak. ”Do you mind me putting on some music?”

Isak shook his head. He heard Even type something on his computer. ”What do you like?” he asked. 

”Me?” Isak asked and looked up from the screen in front of him. 

”No, Santa Claus. Yeah, you,” Even chuckled. 

Isak grinned a little. ”I like 90’s hip hop quite a lot. I’m a pretty big fan of N.W.A.”

”Yeah?”

”It’s the kind of music you listen to when you walk around and wanna be cool,” Isak gave him a crooked smile.

”I know who N.W.A. are." 

”Alright,” Isak shrugged. ”What do you like, then?”

”Oh, I only listen to Gabrielle,” Even answered. His facial expression dead serious. 

”No?”

”Yeah, she’s great,” he insisted. 

”You’re kidding right now. Are you?”

Even broke into a wide smile. ”I am,” he chuckled and Isak breathed out deeply. 

”You had me worried for a second.” 

”Have you ever heard of Nas?” Even asked instead. 

”Nas?” Isak repeated. ”Nas. _Nas_. Yeah, I believe so.”

That was a lie. He just wanted to have something in common with Even, since they were _finally_ talking about something else than toilet paper. 

”Have you?” Even laughed, raising his eyebrows lightly. 

”I _have._ I have.”

Even shook his head. ”Doesn’t sound like it,” he said. ”How can you listen to 90’s hip hop and _not_ have heard of Nas. He made the best album of all time. ’Illmatic’.”

”Yeah?”

”I even have it on vinyl! Come on,” he said and stood up from his chair. 

Isak rolled his eyes. ”You own a record player? And I thought you couldn’t get anymore pretentious.”

”I’m _pretentious_?” Even raised his eyebrows, again. 

”Yeah,” Isak grinned. 

”How come?”

”You walk around with your denim jacket, and with your hair styled like that and you’re like the biggest art nerd in the entire universe,” Isak said. 

Even’s jaw dropped. ”Wow. _Wow_ ,” was the only thing he said. 

Isak laughed. 

Even wasn’t mad. He only shook his head. ”And I was going to show you my favorite album of _all time_ and you’re just criticizing.”

”Sorry, man, but it’s the truth,” Isak smirked. He paused for a second. ”It suits you though,” he added. 

Even’s eyebrows shot up. ”The pretentious-move-hipster-style?”

”Yeah,” Isak nodded. ”You also have this super mystical vibe going on. And everybody thinks that you're like, the coolest kid in the whole school, but in reality you’re like the biggest nerd ever.”

Even laughed out loud. ”Alright, Mr. Music-you-listen-to-when-you-want-to-act-cool.”

”At least I’m not denying it!” Isak put his hands up in defense. 

”Alright, shut the fuck up,” Even shook his head. ”Come on.”

Isak took his coffee and followed Even through the apartment. He had never been _in_ Even’s room before. Well, he had seen it, of course, when Eskild gave him his house tour when he moved here almost a month ago. It was slightly smaller than his own, and the walls were painted in a light blue color. Two guitars hung on the wall right above the bed. The rest of the walls were covers in artsy paintings and tiny comic strips. 

”Have you made these?” Isak asked as he took a step forward to take a closer look at the drawings. He took a sip of his coffee. It was starting to turn cold. 

Even nodded. 

”They’re good,” he said. ”Very funny.”

”Thanks,” Even grinned. 

Isak turned around to face Even again. ”The rest of your room screams of hipster though.”

”Watch it,” Even warned. ”Or I’ll throw you out of the window.”

Isak snorted. ”You’re not strong enough,” he teased.

”Yeah?” Even said again. ”I bet I can win over you in arm wrestling.”

”Come at me,” Isak spread his arms wide. 

Even won. 

But Isak didn’t really mind, he just enjoyed holding Even’s hand for a minute or two. His fingertips were slightly calloused from playing guitar, Isak guessed. But apart from that his hands were all warm and soft (just like the rest of him). 

”Do you want to go out with your head or your ass first?” Even asked with a _very_ serious voice. 

”Ass, please,” Isak played along. 

Even grinned. ”Alright, let’s listen to this fucking album,” he said and pulled out a dark red vinyl record from his bookshelf. ”Your mind is going to be _blown_.”

He placed the black record in the vinyl player and handed the album cover to Isak, who gladly took it to inspect the cover art. 

”The first song is _The Genesis_ , it’s only a minute long or so,” Even said and slumped down on his bed. Isak sat down next to him. 

The next song, _N.Y. State of Mind_ , Isak read, started playing and Even rapped along softly: ” _rappers, I monkey flip 'em with the funky rhythm I be kickin’. Musician, inflictin' composition_ …”

”How many times have you listened to this album?” Isak asked and raised an eyebrow. 

”Way too many,” Even confessed and chuckled slightly. 

It was nice. Sitting on Even’s bed together with him. He wished that they could’ve done this much earlier. 

 

Eskild came home half past five in the afternoon. Surprisingly, he found both Isak and Even, _together_ , watching television in the living room. 

”Hey darlings,” he greeted them, and they both looked up from the screen in front of them. He raised his eyebrows at Isak and smiled a little. He thought back at the conversation they had almost two weeks ago, when the younger boy had seemed so worried about the fact that he thought Even didn’t enjoy his company. So he was glad to find them spending time together. 

”What are you watching?” Eskild asked as he slumped down on the couch next to Even. 

”Even is showing me some of his old films he and his friends did back in middle school."

Eskild squinted his eyes at the screen. ” _Jesus_ , is that you?” he asked and looked at Even, who only laughed in response. ”What is _with_ your _hair_?” 

His comment made Even laugh even louder. ”We all actually _shaved_ our heads to make this film,” he shook his head. 

”Suffer for the arts,” Isak mumbled. 

”Something like that,” Even said. ”My mom was _so angry_ with me for doing that.”

 

*

 

Isak and his friends went to a party that weekend. Isak hadn’t been to a party in quite a while, and to be honest he didn’t really feel like getting fucked up. 

”You’ve been acting so goddamn strange lately, Isak,” Magnus said when they sat on the tram. 

”I’m not acting strange?” Isak argued. ”There’s just a lot of shit going on, I moved out recently. I'm trying to get my life back on track, you know?”

”Yeah, but you can still, like, hang out with us sometime?”

Isak frowned. ”I am hanging out with us right now, aren’t I?”

The truth was, that Isak probably wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t for the fact that Eva herself hosted the party. 

Two hours later, Isak found himself in her bathroom. He, Magnus, Mahdi and Jonas sat in the bathtub and passed a water pipe made out a plastic bottle back and forth in between them. 

”Did Eva invite all the chicks in first class?” Magnus asked.

Jonas shrugged. A pair of sunglasses rested on the tip of his nose. ”I don’t think she knows them, actually.”

”They are all good looking though?” Magnus said. 

”Emelie is really hot,” Mahdi said, and Jonas nodded in agreement. 

”Nah,” Isak shook his head. ”She’s not fuckable.”

Both Jonas and Mahdi turned their heads to look at Isak like he was crazy. ”What?” Jonas laughed. ”What do you think then?”

”I think you guys have lowered your standards,” Isak muttered and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

”Kødder du? What’s up with you man?”

Mahdi shook his head. ”You’re talking about standards, you should be less picky considering how ugly you are.”

Mahdi’s comment made Magnus let out an high pitched scream. ”What the fuck, man?” he giggled.

”Yeah but there has to be at least one hot girl here, or what?” 

Isak chuckled a little and shook his head. 

”I could do all of the girls here, to be honest,” Magnus said and nodded at Mahdi. 

”But you’re so goddamn desperate Magnus, so your opinion doesn’t count,” Mahdi laughed. 

Magnus jaw dropped. ”Am _I_ desperate? Jonas!”

Jonas raised his eyebrows. ”Yes?”

”There’s one–” Isak finally exclaimed, but none of the boys were focusing on him. ” _Listen to me_! One. She has dark short hair. I’ve seen her, but I don’t know her name.”

”Wait, the one who looks like Natalie Portman, right?”

”Exactly!” Isak said. ”Exactly. She _really_ does.”

”I don’t think you stand a chance, man,” Jonas said and Isak rubbed his eyes. ”I heard her last boyfriend was like a 20 year old model or something.” 

”Why does that matter?

”Then you know what her standard is,” Jonas nodded. 

Isak rolled his eyes. ”Alright so, only because she dated a 20 year old model once doesn’t mean she wants to do it again. Am I right?”

 

And for once, Isak seemed to be right. Because right when he was about to leave the bathroom, the Natalie Portman lookalike (also known as Emma Larzen, Isak found out) stumbled through the door, and only minutes later Isak had her pressed up against the cool bathroom tiles. 

She had nice lips. A thin and flat body that fit perfectly with his. But Isak’s mind wandered off to a world somewhere far away. 

Suddenly, he wasn’t kissing her anymore. He was kissing Even. He sucker her lower lip into his mouth andlet out a strangled moan. Isak could feel his dick twitch slightly in his pants. Emma apparently took that as a hint, because she started to kiss down Isak’s neck, and she hooked her fingers in the belt loops of his jeans.

It was in that moment Isak realized what he was doing and he pushed her away. 

”Shit,” he whispered and brought his hand up to cover his mouth. His cheeks were _burning_. ”Shit, I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

”Wha–”

Emma didn’t even have time to finish speaking before Isak stormed out of the bathroom. 

He couldn’t believe himself. He had thought about _Even_ like _that_. The same _Even_ that he _lived with_. In the _same apartment_. Under _the same roof_. 

Isak didn’t know how to handle all of the emotions that roamed inside his head, so he did exactly the same thing he had done about a month ago. He found Jonas in the kitchen and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. ”Let’s take tequila shots,” he said. 


	4. Part 4: Hjemmefest

Isak and Even had gone back to not talking. The only difference was that this time, was that it was Isak who was ignoring Even. 

But Even was _everywhere_ in the apartment. He was in the kitchen and the laundry room and the hallway and even _in_ I _sak’s room_ sometimes (not to talk about that time when Isak stumbled into the bathroom at seven in the morning and Even stood in front of the mirror with only a towel wrapped around his slim waist. Isak nearly _collapsed_ ). He peeked in sometimes and asked if Isak was up for ordering take out, or watching a movie. 

Isak always declined. 

It wasn’t like Isak didn’t want to spend time with him, it was just the fact that every time he tried to talk to Even the memories from _that night_ popped up. Eva’s party had escalated when the police arrived and everybody started freaking out. Isak and Jonas jumped out the kitchen window and landed on Eva’s well mowed lawn. Jonas had stolen a bike from Eva’s neighbor (which he had returned two days later, since he didn’t want Eva to get shit for throwing such an _epic_ party) and he had driven Isak home on the luggage carrier. When he came home that night, Even and Sonja sat in the kitchen and played Monopoly. Isak felt like throwing up all over the goddamn board game. 

No, Isak spent most of his spare time hardcore studying instead. He aced both his mats and biology exams. Sana, his biology partner, was indeed _very_ impressed. 

But when Isak came home from school one day, with his favorite Nike jacket slung over his left shoulder, and found Even in the kitchen with his head in his hands, he felt like he couldn’t stay away. 

”Are you alright?” he asked him carefully. 

Even raised his head from his hands to face Isak. His hair was flat against his forehead and his neck was all red and flushed. ”Well, not really,” he sighed truthfully. 

Isak swallowed deeply. He knew that he _should_ stay away from Even, but hell, he was only human. So he sat down on the chair next to Even’s and asked him about it. 

”I’m thinking about breaking up with Sonja,” he confessed.

Isak’s jaw hung slack. He only nodded in response. 

”Things haven’t been that good recently and, I don’t know … I think that maybe, maybe we’ve grown apart.”

”Yeah?” Isak’s voice was barely stronger than a whisper. But Even kept on talking. 

”It’s so hard though, because we’ve been together since we were like, fourteen or something.”

”So … Four years, then?” Isak asked. He didn’t really know what to say. 

Even thought about it for a minute or so. ”No five, almost six.”

Isak frowned a little. ”Wait, what? Are you 19?”

Even raised his eyebrows. ”I turned 20 in February, actually,” he said. 

”Oh,” Isak nodded. Even was two years older than Isak. ”But you’re a third year?”

”Yeah, I had to repeat this year. I did a lot of shit last year, that’s why I don’t live at home anymore.”

”You don’t talk to your parents either, then?” 

Even shifted a little. ”Well, I do. I just didn’t want them to take care of me for _another_ year, you know? I kind of felt like I owed them that.”

 

*

 

**Kattehookern og vennene hans**

 

Isak (14:52)

_Gutta_

_party at kollektivet on friday_

_be there or be square_

 

Magnus (14:55)

_FINALLY_

_you’ve been living there for over a month and you haven’t hosted a party yet. I’m excited_

 

Jonas (14:55)

_sweEt_

 

Magnus (14:56)

_will Vilde be there?_

 

Isak (14:56)

_If you invite her, she will_

 

Mahdi (14:56)

_Vilde?? Seriøst Mags_

 

Magnus (14:57)

_cant you do it?_

_its your house and your party_

_and you’re better friends with eva anyway_

_and yes Vilde she’s hot_

 

Mahdi (14:58)

_JEsus Magnus you need to get your shit together_

 

Magnus (14:59)

_Fuck off_

_be a Bro_

 

Isak (14:58)

_alright I’ll invite Eva and her friends_

_Noora is probably  going to invite them all anyway_

 

Jonas (15:00)

_but noora doesn’t live there anymore right? or have i missed something_

 

Isak (15:01)

_nah she’s still with William_

_this place is too small for five people anyway_

_jonas can you get beer btw_

 

Jonas (15:02)

_hell nope_

_you owe me_

 

Isak (15:02)

_I don’t owe you shit?_

 

Jonas (15:03)

_oh my god isak you do!!_

_remember that party at andreas about a month ago?_

_you stole like four of my beers_

_that’s not ok buddy_

_you get the beer_

 

Isak (15:05)

_……….._

_ok_  

 

*

 

It was only a few minutes after nine and kollektivet was packed with people. Even had invited a lot of his friends from Bakka, and to Isak’s surprise, even Sonja. Isak thought that Even had broken up with her by now, but maybe he changed his mind. Instead, he was was dancing with her and Isak sat with his friends in one of the couches and watched him swirl her around. 

”You look mopey,” Eva commented and poked Isak’s cheek with her index finger. He tried to swat it away. ”Come on, let’s dance.”

”I don’t dance, Eva,” Isak groaned in protest. 

”Oh, with me you dance,” she said and grabbed his arm. She pulled him up from the couch and dragged him with her into the crowd. 

”This is ridiculous,” he muttered, but the corners of his mouth was pointing upwards. 

”You need to relax a little,” Eva shouted and placed her hands on Isak’s shoulders. ”Stop thinking about what everybody else thinks and have some fun, for once.”

Isak laughed and started bobbing his head to the beat of the music, _very_ slowly. ”Are you happy?”

”Incredibly,” Eva nodded.

Isak was starting to enjoy himself a little. And maybe it was the alcohol, but dancing was Eva was actually quite fun. Until he looked up and his gaze was met by Even’s dark blue eyes. Even was still dancing with Sonja, but his eyes were on Isak. Isak tried to focus on Eva, but he still felt his eyes wandering off to meet Even’s. He didn’t know why. It was like he couldn’t control his own body. And suddenly, Even’s lips were pressed against Sonja’s, but his eyes. Oh, his eyes were still on Isak’s. 

Isak thought that he was going to sink through the surface of the earth. He could feel his heart start beating hard in his chest and his breath becoming erratic. 

”I need to get some air,” he excused himself and slipped through the crowd to get to the balcony. 

The balcony was jam-packed, but Isak still managed to get outside. He wasn’t a smoker, but since air obviously wasn’t working for him, he stole three cigarettes from Magnus and smoked them all at once. Magnus didn’t seem to care. He was talking to Vilde and he seemed to be overjoyed. 

 

It was hours later when all of the guest had left, when Isak finally started to sober up. He stood in the kitchen with his head pressed against the fridge door. It felt cool against his hot skin. 

”Tired?” Even’s deep voice was heard right behind him and Isak spun around so quickly that he knocked his head against the fridge. 

”Ow, fuck,” he groaned and rubbed his sore forehead. 

”Are you alright?” Even chuckled. He took a step closer to Isak. 

”I’m fine.” 

Even was looking at Isak again, and he started to get tired of him staring at him all the time. ”Why are you staring at me all the time?” Isak blurted out. 

Even must've been little bit taken aback by the abrupt question, because his jaw dropped a little bit. ”Sorry,” he apologized, and Isak instantly regretted calling him out like that. ”I just, eh …” he shrugged.

Isak didn’t say anything, and neither did Even. And suddenly, it felt like they were the only ones in the entire world. Both Eskild and Linn had already gone to bed, Noora went home with everybody else. In that moment, it was just Isak and Even. 

”Where … Where’s Sonja?” Isak asked, and he mentally face palmed himself for asking that question, because something changed in Even’s eyes, and the moment was gone. 

”I sent her home,” he answered truthfully before he inhaled deeply. ”I sent her home because no matter how hard I try  _I can’t_ stop thinking about  _you,_ Isak – and this sounds cliché as _fuck –_ but you’re so attractive.”

Isak’s eyes widened a little at Even’s confession. He did not expect _that_. ”I’m what?” he managed to get out. 

Even groaned a little. ”You look good, Isak, okay?” Even’s cheeks started to turn a little bit pink. He waved his arms in the air around him, almost as if he didn’t know what to do with them. Isak had never seen him like this before. All red and flushed. ”You look good, and you’re smart and funny and you walk around and look like you aren’t aware of it. But please. Please tell me I’m not the only one feeling it– _this_. Because I’m going crazy, Isak.”

Isak swallowed harshly. ”You’re not the only one.” His voice wasn’t louder than a whisper. 

And that was apparently the only thing Even needed to hear. Because he took two long steps forward, placed his hands on Isak’s jaw and connected their lips. When Isak didn’t push him away, he opened his mouth slightly, and Isak let him. 

Isak felt like crumbling. He inhaled so heavily that he thought that his lungs were going to break. Because Even was kissing Isak and Isak was kissing him back. He placed his hands on Even’s sides, a little bit unsure of what to do with them.

Jesus,

His heart was beating so fast. 

 _Holy fuck_. 

Even’s lips were warm, and a little bit chapped, and they fit perfectly with Isak’s. His hands lightly caressed Isak’s cheek before it tangled into the curls of hair in his neck, gently massaging his scalp. It felt so good that Isak had to let out a soft moan against Even’s lips. Normally, something like that would make him feel uncomfortable, and embarrassed, but Even just pulled Isak even closer to him, and Isak practically _melted_ right there. 

Isak built up his courage, and carefully let his hands roam over Even’s slender body. It was hard and strong – so different from all of the girls he had kissed before. His hands came to rest upon Even’s shoulder blades.

Isak had never kissed a boy before (and he never thought that he would either). But he instantly regretted not doing this earlier. Maybe it was just _Even_. Even and his strong hands, musky cologne and light stubble on his chin. Isak allowed himself to take a little more, and give a little more. The kiss wasn’t soft anymore: it was almost as if they were fighting with each other. Even had a strong grip around Isak, and they moved their lips against each other so impulsively. 

And suddenly, Isak realized what they were doing, and he _panicked_.

He was kissing Even? Even was his _housemate_. Even was a _man_. Even had a _girlfriend_ (who he thought about breaking up with, but what _ever_ ). Isak _couldn’t breathe_. 

He pushed Even away from him, harshly, and shook his head. ”Sorry,” he sniffled and bit his lower lip. Even’s mouth was still open. His lips were all red from kissing Isak. ”Sorry, this shouldn’t have happened. This can’t happen,” he said and shook his head. 

”Isak–” Even began but Isak cut him off. 

”No,” he said. ”I’m drunk. I need to sleep. Goodnight.”

And then he turned around and left both the kitchen and Even behind. He could feel tears burn behind his eyelids. But he was _not_ going to cry. Not over this. 

He closed his bedroom door behind him, stripped off all of his clothes, went to bed and _cried anyway_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN that's all i can say ok (((((-:


	5. Part 5: Dårskap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yo this is not edited

Isak missed his family. He missed his dad and his little sister. But most of all he missed his mom. He knew that if he wanted to, he could just lift his phone and dial his father. But he didn't know where is mom where at in her head. He didn’t know where she was at all, actually. 

He hadn't brought any of his old stuff with him when he moved, because he thought that coping would be easier that way. And in the beginning, it was. But he was slowly starting to regret his decision. There was a picture of Isak and his family on the wall in the hallway in his childhood home. Isak had seen it over a million times before. He still remembered it very clearly. They had been on a vacation to Copenhagen. Isak had only been eight years old, and one of his front teeth was missing. His mom stood right behind him, and her left hand was resting on his shoulder. He had been lucky back them.  _Almost too lucky_ , he thought. 

Thinking about his childhood made his heart ache though, because when he and Lea were kids they used to be a normal family. Just like Jonas', Magnus' and Mahdi's families. They all had parents who adored them and wanted to spend time with them. Isak's dad has abounded him. And Isak, he had abounded his mom. 

Isak fell back into his bed. He couldn't get the thought out of his head and it was annoying him. He didn't want to be sad, he had been down for days now and he was starting to grow tired of himself. He hadn't been able to face, or even look, at Even since they kissed in the kitchen. And Even, he didn't look back. 

The worst part was that Isak had enjoyed it so much that he couldn't let go of the thought. At one point, he thought that he was going mad, and he was afraid that he was going to end up just like his mom. 

Isak's dad had been trying to contact him several times this month. He rarely answered his text messages tough, but since his father still payed for his rent he still had to speak to keep contact with him. He unlocked his phone and opened the Messenger app and scrolled through the old messages his father had sent him. His dad texted him as soon as yesterday. 

 

 **Pappa**  

 

(Sunday. April 2nd. 12:28):

_I transferred 4000 kr to your account yesterday. I'd like to see you soon._

 

(13:01):

_cool_

 

(Wednesday. April 5th. 15:21)

_Lea and I are going to the movies on Saturday. You want to come?_

 

(Saturday. April 8th. 10:03)

_Hi Isak! Are you joining us today? We are going to see that new movie with Ryan Gosling._

 

(Friday. April 14th. 14:55): 

_Isak how are you? Is school going ok? Are you still friends with Jonas? I would like to meet him soon!_

 

(Monday. April 17th. 13:03):

_hi I could use some money for groceries_

 

(13:16):

_I transferred 1000 kr. How are your housemates? Are they treating you well_

 

(Tuesday. April 18th. 21:34):

_Isak look what I found! It's a picture of you and lea from Christmas four years ago. Look how much you've grown_

**_Attached Image_ **

 

(Sunday. April 23rd. 16:06):

_I bought concert tickets for me and mom on the 5th of may. We are thinking of eating dinner before. It would be fun if you joined us._

 

(Wednesday. April 25th. 13:45):

_Did you see the text I sent you about the concert next Friday?_

 

(11:38)

_Isak?_

 

(Yesterday. 21:21): 

_Enough Isak! I’ve tried to get ahold of you for days. I know you’re angry with me and that you think I’m a coward for leaving mom, but I couldn’t help her. I hope you’ll understand that I’m doing the best I can._

 

Isak licked his lips. He felt the feeling of guilt turn in his lower stomach. He changed his position slightly, so he was facing the ceiling instead. There was a brown spot right above him in the roof, and Isak stared at it intensely. 

He unlocked his phone and started to formulate a message.  _I'm sorry_ , he started, but instantly deleted it. Isak had to remind himself of the fact that he wasn't the bad guy. He started over.

What was he supposed to write, really? I _miss you? I miss mom?_

No, he didn't want his dad to think that he didn't enjoy living alone. To be honest, his dad would be just be happy to get an answer, so Isak quickly typed  _I'll be there_  and pressed sent before he could change his mind. 

He locked the screen and threw away his phone. It landed somewhere around his feet. 

 

*

 

 **Jonas**  

 

(16:48):

_dude i need your help_

_come over NOW_

 

*

 

They were walking fast down the street where Jonas lived. It was right after five in the afternoon, and Jonas told him that they were in a hurry. He looked tense.

"Long story short. I was in a fight with these guys a few weeks ago-", Jonas began. 

Isak stopped walking abruptly. "What?" he spat. "Are you hurt? Why the fuck haven't you told me?"

"We have to keep moving," Jonas groaned as he pulled the sleeve of Isak's wind jacket, but Isak was still waiting for Jonas to explain himself. "You've been so busy with the apartment and everything that I didn't want to bother you."

"Hell, Jonas you're my best friend."

"Just listen, alright? I don't know if you've heard about them but it's the Yakuza-guys? Well, they are not that big fans of the Penetrator-boys."

"Like, William and his friends?" 

"Exactly, exactly," Jonas nodded. "However - you know I'm not into all of this russ-stuff, right? But Ingrid, you know that her brother Simon is selling greens, right? Yeah, he's one of the Penetrators, and I kind of owe him."

Isak's eyebrows shot up. "What do you mean you owe him?"

Jonas swallowed. "Chris Schistad set up another fight with the Yakuzas today at seven, and I kind of have to, you know, fight."

"Are you kidding me? You said no, right?" 

Jonas licked his lips. "Isak I gotta do this."

"That's insane. You don't have to fight for anyone."

Jonas shrugged. "I just-" he looked away for a second before continuing. "I would really appreciate if you could come with me."

"To fight?"

"Yeah, to fight."

Isak thought about it for a second. "I'm not a very strong, Jonas."

"I know, I know. Neither am I. But I need you there Isak."

Isak gulped. "Where?" 

Jonas instantly relaxed. "Near the forest, right behind the football court. We're meeting Chris and William in an hour."

 

"Isak?"

He spun around. "Yeah?"

It was William. Noora's older boyfriend. "Why are you here?" he asked. 

"Chill, he's with us," Jonas assured. He put a hand on Isak's shoulder and squeezed it lightly. 

William looked unsure. "Alright," he said after a moment of thinking. "But you can't tell Noora about this. She'll flip." 

"I won't," Isak assures him. 

Isak felt his phone vibrate in the back pocket of his jeans, and he slipped it out and found a text from his father. 

 

**Pappa**

(18:52)

_Fantastic! Mom will be so happy. You can bring a friend if you want to as well._

 

Isak read the message twice. He didn't know what to feel to be quite honest. He hadn't met his parents in over a month now, and he didn't know what to expect. "Isak, come on," Jonas said and pulled at his sleeve. 

He saw a couple of guys walking against them. Someone was shouting at them, and then everything happened really quickly. 

One of the boys walked straight up to Chris and shoved him at his chest. 

Chris pushed him back. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he growled.

"What the fuck do you think  _you're_  doing?" the boy shot back. 

Another guy walked up to them and Jonas showed him away from Chris. "You think you're tough, huh?" he raised his eyebrows in question and hovered over Jonas. "Yeah?"

Isak managed to pull Jonas back right before William smashed a bottle into the head of the Yakuza-guy.

And then hell broke loose. 

Isak didn't really know what he was fighting for. But he was there with Jonas. He stayed with Jonas. And when a boy wrapped his arms around Jonas' body, Isak punched him in the face until he let go. 

Isak wasn't a violent guy. He had never been into fighting. But he was quite slick. He had been playing football for almost his entire childhood. 

He got a couple of great hits though, and he had to admit that he found it quite soothing. It was almost like he was finally able to let go off all of the aggression he has been carrying with him recently. 

He was mad as his dad for leaving his mom. He was mad a Elias for treating him like shit. He was mad that none of his friends understood what he was feeling, and that he had to face all of his fears alone. He was mad at Even because he made him feel he was enchanted, caught under his spell. He was mad at him for kissing him. But most of all, Isak was angry with himself. 

He was mad at himself because he constantly screwed up. He was the reason for why his mom was at such a bad place right now. He was the one who had left her behind. 

And he was the reason for why his friends didn't understand. Because he hadn't told him, just like he hadn't had the guts to tell Elias to cut the bullshit last year. 

And he was the only one who hadn't been able to accept his attraction towards Even. He was the one who let Even kiss him, and he was the one who helped him cheat on Sonja. 

Thinking about it only made Isak punch harder. And it wasn't until he could feel blood streaming down his face that he realized what he was doing. 

"Are you alright?" Jonas pulled him out of the crowd. They were moving fast towards the other side of the football court. "Jesus Isak, you're bleeding like crazy."

Jonas' lip was cut open. But it didn't bleed. He took off his sweatshirt and revealed a white t-shirt, which he swiftly pulled off his body. He pressed the soft material against the bridge of Isak's nose. 

"Does it hurt?" Jonas asked.

"Not at all," Isak answered. It was the truth. His face felt all numb. 

 

Isak still held Jonas' t-shirt against his face when he stumbled into the hall later that evening. And the only person who Isak didn't want to face sat in the kitchen. Even. 

"Where's Eskild?" Isak groaned. He carefully removed the shirt from his face. His nose felt all stiff. 

Even looked up from the sketch block that laid on the table in front of him, and his eyes immediately widened. "What the fuck have you done?" he cried out. He stood up to be able to see Isak better. "Jesus, Isak, there's blood everywhere."

"I fucking know," Isak shuffled away from him. "Where the fuck is Eskild?" 

He walked into the bathroom and, well, Even was right. There was blood everywhere. The left side of his face had started turning shifting in blue and purple, there was a cut vertically across the bridge of his nose and his face was covered in dried dark red blood. 

He could hear Even talk through his telephone in the living room. Isak grabbed a fresh towel from the cabinet below the sink and held it under the tap. He carefully pressed it against the bridge of his nose, but it hurt, and Isak let out a deep groan. 

"Let me help you," Even suddenly stood behind him. His telephone in his left hand, and a worried expression written across his face.

Isak shook his head. "I don't need your help, Even."

"Please."

His voice was barely louder than a whisper, but it sounded so sincere that it made Isak freeze in his movement. He looked at Even trough the mirror and swallowed deeply before he handed the towel to him. 

"Here," Even said as he took a step closer to Isak. "Sit on the counter."

Isak rolled his eyes. He felt ridiculous, but he still did as Even said and jumped up on the counter behind him. "This is so not necessary," Isak muttered. 

"Be quiet," Even whispered as he dabbed the wet cloth against Isak's face. 

He worked in silence, he thoroughly cleaned the dried blood of his lips before he moved on to the nose. Isak winced when he hovered over the cut. 

"Tell me if it hurts," Even said. 

Isak leaned the back of his head against the wall. "I just split my fucking face open. Of course it hurts."

"Sorry," Even mumbled. 

Isak shut his eyes close. Having Even so close to his face was hard. There wasn't anything flirty of romantic about the situation, it was actually kind of gross. 

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Even asked quietly as he rinsed the blood of the towel. The hot water turned all red against the white porcelain sink. 

"No," Isak shook his head. 

"So you want me to just accept the fact that you just came home with a huge cut across your face?"

"Something like that," Isak shrugged. 

Even sighed deeply and took a step back. "You're acting silly," he said. "We live together. We have to communicate." 

Isak slowly licked his lips. Even was right, of course. They had to talk about things. About this. About them. But Isak didn't feel like it. At least not today. He still hadn't gotten over the kiss he and Even had shared a week ago. And almost as if Even had read his mind, he opened his mouth and said "I know that you're mad at me right now, and you have all the rights to be that. I shouldn't have, done ... That before." 

Isak were just about to answer that it wasn't just Even's fault that things had ended up like this, when Eskild hustled the door open. His face was all red and he was still wearing his sneakers.

"I just talked to Noora," he said, and Isak mentally cursed. "She is furious, Isak. Furious. How could you be so stupid?" 

Isak squeezed his eyes shut. "I had no choice." 

"Bullshit," Eskild argued. "You never have to fight anyone, Isak."

"I did it for Jonas," he said. "I don't regret it. He's my best friend and he needed me."

Eskild shook his head. "Sometimes I forget how young and naive you are. If Jonas forces you to fight people, I'm afraid he isn't a very good friend."

"He didn't force me. He asked me, and I said yes." 

"Don't you get it?" Eskild shouted. "You could've ended up in the hospital, or worse!" 

Isak exhaled deeply. "I'm sorry then, Eskild. But I don't care. Jonas is like a brother to me I know that he would do the same thing for me." 

He remained silent after that, and refused to answer any further questions. Even quickly finished cleaning him up, and placed a Spongebob Squarepants bandaid across the cut. They never finished their conversation from earlier though, but in a way it felt okay again. 

 

**Even Bech Næsheim**

(02:12)

_I broke up with her by the way._

_I thought that you should know that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry that i didn't update yesterday, and i'm sorry that THIS IS A MESS but i got a stomach flu.
> 
> i hope you still enjoy this tho. and i'm sorry. hahaha.


	6. Part 6: Homofil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Landslide – Oh Wonder

 

_I know it hurts sometimes but you’ll get over it_

 

 

Isak couldn’t sleep. He had been tossing and turning in his bed the entire night. 

 _Maybe I’m gay_ , he thought as he stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom at kollektivet. He was examining himself, too see if the word somehow would change him. 

”Gay,” he tried. Tasted the word a little. It felt unknown. Unreal. 

His Adam’s apple jumped as he swallowed deeply. Isak had, for as long as he could remember, been afraid of rejection. His mother had practically sacrificed her soul to God, and Isak was scared that she wouldn’t accept him if he started, you know, seeing boys. 

Isak pulled his t-shirt of his body. He had a couple of nasty looking bruises on his chest, but they didn’t hurt that much. He had no problem moving his limbs whatsoever. To be honest, Isak thought he looked quite cool like this, with a black eye and a (now healed, but still clearly visible) cut across the bridge of his pointy nose. He rubbed his eyes, carefully. His face was still very much sore from the fight. Even had given him a couple of painkillers earlier, and they had helped numbing the pain. He opened the medicine cabinet and rummaged through its content.

To Isak’s confusion, he found several bottles and packages marked with Even’s name: anti-depressives, sleeping pills and a package with _Lithionit_. The medicines didn’t say Isak that much. He found a bottle with ibuprofens, and he took the bottle with him and went into the kitchen. 

Isak didn’t expect anyone else to be awake at this hour, it was right after five in the morning, so he sure was surprised when he found Linn all alone on a kitchen chair. 

”Hi,” he croaked. 

She looked up at him. ”Hi,” she mimicked.

Isak filled a glass with cold water and sat down next to Linn. He swallowed a pill before he spoke again. ”Are you alright?” 

Linn shrugged. ”Yeah. You look way worse than I do,” she said bluntly. Isak almost choked on his water, Linn’s honesty often surprised him. 

”Thanks,” he said humorlessly. 

”Do you want to talk about it?” Linn offered. 

Isak had never really had a real, serious conversation with Linn, and he wasn’t quite sure of how he felt about it. ”I don’t know if there’s anything to talk about,” he finally said. ”I kind of got it all out yesterday.” He pointed at his face, and Linn snorted. 

”Okay,” she nodded. 

Isak grabbed his water glass and stood up. ”I’m going back to bed,” he announced. 

He was just about to leave the kitchen behind when he heard Linn say his name. He turned around and raised his eyebrows (well, as much as his pounding face allowed him too). 

”You’re not trying to hurt yourself, are you?” she asked. 

Isak’s face softened. ”Nei, Linn. I’m not.”

”Good.”

 

 

_So when you're caught in a landslide_

_I’ll be there for you, I'll be there for you_

 

 

Everybody in kollektivet was walking on ice around Isak for the entire day. It was almost as if they were afraid that he was going to snap, or something. Isak thought it was ridiculous. Eskild was regularly checking in on him. 

”Do you need anything?” he asked softly. 

Isak shook his head. He was curled up in his bed, currently watching the latest season of Narcos. ”Or,” he changed his mind. ”Can you get me some hot chocolate?”

Eskild smiled a little. ”Sure.”

He left the bedroom and Isak sank further into the mattress of his bed. His body _hurt_ , for real now. He hadn’t really minded the pain before, but he couldn’t find any comfortable positions. Maybe Eskild could bring him some more painkillers as well. 

A few minutes later, the door opened again and Isak expected to see the tips of Eskild’s copper red hair peak out from behind the door, but instead, Even peered inside. 

”Hi,” he squeaked. 

”Halla,” Isak answered.

Even looked nervous. His eyes were darting back and forth between Isak’s and his bed. ”Can I come in?”

”Yeah.”

Even opened the door widely and revealed his body. He was wearing a red sweatshirt and a pair of grey sweats. Then he sat down on the foot of Isak’s bed. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Eskild who swung the door open, again. 

”One hot chocolate, ordered!” he yelled as he entered the room. He handed the mug to Isak, who gratefully took it. ”Careful, it’s hot.”

”I’m not a child, Eskild,” Isak rolled his eyes. 

”No. You’re my little baby bear,” he said and squeezed Isak’s shoulder, a little bit too hard. 

Isak could feel his cheeks turn all red. ”Please stop,” he pleaded and Eskild stood up again. He winked to Even on his way out. 

Even raised his eyebrows and smiled a little. ”So,” he said and chuckled slightly. ”I never really got the opportunity to apologize.”

Isak opened his mouth. ”What for?” he asked. 

”For not caring about your feelings,” he shrugged and looked down at his feet. ”I said a lot of things and I didn’t think … I didn’t think about you and your feelings, and how the things I said affected you.”

He looked up at Isak again and met his eyes. Sincerely. Green and blue. Isak swallowed harshly. ”I didn’t say no,” he whispered. 

And Even blinked. Once, twice. 

”No but,” he began. ”I kind of took advantage of you, and that’s … That’s not okay.”

”I’m not a child,” Isak said for the second time that day. 

”I know, I know,” Even shook his head. ”God, it feels like everything I’m trying to say comes out the wrong way.”

They both became quiet after that. Isak took a sip of the hot chocolate. He offered it to Even, but he shook his head. Isak liked Even (probably a little bit more that he had been able to accept). He enjoyed spending time with him, and hearing him laugh. He had a great taste in music and when he looked at Isak, Isak felt like he was the only one in the world. It felt good. It felt better than good, it felt _wonderful_. 

”Even?” Isak said after a moment of silence. 

”Yeah?”

Isak put the half full mug of hot chocolate on bedside table next to him. ”I’m gay,” he said. He looked away, out of the window and held his breath. Isak had never said that out loud.

”Okay,” was the only thing Even said. 

His reaction made Isak frown. ”Okay?” he mimicked. ”Is that all you have to … Is it that obvious?”

Even’s face softened. ”Well, you have been giving me these very mixed signals ever since you moved in,” he chuckled, and Isak felt his cheeks heat up a little again. ”But no,” Even sighed. ”I meant more like … ’Okay, that’s alright’?”  
”Oh.”

Even shifted a little. ”Have you told anyone before?”

Isak shook his head. ”Not even myself,” he breathed.

And suddenly something  _clicked,_ because tears uncontrollably started streaming down Isak's cheeks. "Shit," he sniffled. "This is humiliating." 

Even gave him a crooked smile, before he shuffled a bit closer to Isak and placed his _hand on his knee_. ”How do you _feel_?”

”Honestly? Terrified,” Isak laughed, furiously wiping the tears off his cheeks. "But it’s kinda cool. Kinda, nice to get it out there.”

”Yeah?”

”Yeah,” Isak took a deep breath.

"That's chill," Even chuckled.

His hand left Isak's knee, and, hell, Isak felt like brusting into tears  _again_. He didn't want Even to leave him, ever. There was something about the older boy who made him feel secure. Something that made him feel like he could trust him. 

”Even?” Isak said again, quieter this time.  

Even didn’t answer, he was already concentrating at Isak. 

”I’d like to kiss you, right now. If that’s, uh, okay?” he bit his lower lip harshly. But he didn’t want to break his eye contact with Even. 

”Yeah?” Even answered.

Isak nodded, his mouth half open. ”Yeah,” he repeated. 

So he moved a little closer to Even, who moved a little closer to Isak. They were right next to each other now. Isak could hear himself breathing _loudly_ through his mouth. He was so nervous. He literally couldn’t recall feeling like this _ever_ before. 

He had kissed loads of girls. He knew exactly what to do to get a reaction out of them, and to be completely honest, Isak really didn’t think that kissing boys would that different. But the difference was that he had never really kissed anyone he felt attracted to. And there he sat, on the edge of his bed, with the most gorgeous human being God had ever created only centimeters in front of him. Isak nearly passed out there and then, and they hadn’t even _touched_ him yet. 

But slowly, carefully, he pressed his lips against Even’s, and Even slowly, carefully pressed back against him. Isak broke away for a swift second. His eyes were still open, and so were Even’s. They were looking at each other, but unlike all of the other times Isak had caught Even staring at him, he knew what it meant now. 

He kissed him again. 

This kiss. It was so much more intimate than the last one they shared. Even was waiting for him. His eyes told Isak to take his time.

Isak was panting, and he had to place his hand upon Even’s shoulder to stabilize himself. Attentively, he licked his bottom lip, begging him to open his mouth. And Even did. His eyes were closed by now, and he leaned into Isak’s touch, breathing heavily through his nose. Lips to lips, tongue to tongue. Even gently ran his hand along Isak’s arm, and Isak shivered. Even tried his hardest not to nudge Isak’s nose. He knew that it was still aching, and he didn’t want to hurt him. 

Isak had to break the kiss after a few seconds though. ”There’s no oxygen in this room,” he breathed and Even laughed. 

He leaned his forehead against Isak’s and closed his eyes. They sat like that for a while, not moving, not touching. Simply just breathing each other in.

”Stay with me tonight, will you?” Isak whispered. His breath tickled Even’s cheek. 

Even nodded. ”Okay,” he promised.  

 

 

_And every time that you're lonely. Every time that you're feeling low, you should know_

 

 

Isak went to brush his teeth. He stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, just like had done earlier that morning. 

”Gay. I’m gay,” he said. The word still felt both unknown and unreal, but the word didn’t feel as frightening anymore. Maybe the word _did_ change him, but not in a bad way. He looked into the mirror, and his reflection looked back at him. Maybe it changed him into who he _really_ was. Who he  _always had been_. 

He didn’t brush his teeth quite as hard as he had done earlier that day. There were no traces of blood in the sink when he spat. 

Even was already under the covers when Isak returned to the room. His hoodie were discarded on the floor right next to the bed and Isak blushed from just _looking_ at him. 

Even seemed to notice, because he shot Isak a gentle smile. ”I can put a shirt on if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Isak shook his head. ”No, it’s okay,” he stuttered. ”I, eh, I usually don’t sleep in clothes either– or, I sleepinmyboxers but I don’t really think that counts as _clothes_ –,” Isak had to stop himself from speaking. 

Suddenly, Even looked very unsure. ”Do you really want me here?” he asked. 

”Yes,” Isak whispered. He climbed on top of the bed and shuffled closer to Even. ”Please,” he added. 

He placed both of his hands right above Even’s collarbones. He wanted to kiss him again, but he wasn’t sure if Even wanted that too, so he just tried to look intensely a his lips for a short moment. Even raised his eyebrows and smiled a little before _he_ leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss onto Isak lips. 

 _Come on, then_ , his eyes said. 

Even fumbled with the hem of Isak's t-shirt before he lifted it slightly. Isak stretched his arms up in the air and allowed to Even to remove the garment. Almost painfully slowly, Isak's bruised torso became visible. 

Even didn't say anything. He just looked at Isak, gently, before he turned his gaze to his chest. He carefully traced the blue bruises with his thumbs and Isak  _shivered_ in response. 

Isak wrapped one of his hands around Even’s neck as he pressed their lips together and Even let out a heavy breath through his nose. Isak took that as a sign to continue, so he leaned down over him until they were both lying down on the mattress. 

Somehow, Even managed to both turn off the lights and flip them over without Isak noticing. Because when Isak opened his eyes the room was dark and Even was very much on top on him. His skin was so soft and his hands were all over Isak’s body and he was _panting_ underneath him. 

They had to _slow down_ or things would end up, _embarrassing_. So even though Isak didn’t want to he still separated them. 

He could see Even so very clearly in the darkness. He could feel the heat radiating off his body. They weren't touching or anything, they simply just rested next to each other. 

And just like that, they both drifted off to sleep.

 

 

_I'll be there for you, I'll be there for you. I’ll be there for you, you know_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm still very much sick so the last part is a lil messy,, but i received so many lovely comments on the last chapter that i felt that i had to update. the upcoming week is a tough one though, but bare with me!
> 
> i listened to oh wonders _entire_ self titled album like, ten times, when i wrote this and i felt like the song landslide fit the moment so perfectly. 
> 
> i have planned 10 chapters for this, but i'm not quite sure of how many chapters i'll end up with, yet. we'll see ;-)

**Author's Note:**

> so i haven't really seen that many roommate au's and i used to love these kind of fics????+++ i'm not quite sure of how long this is going to be and such but WE'LL SEE
> 
> i'm from sweden, so if you find any misspellings or if anything just, doesn't make sense please tell me and i'll check it out! 
> 
> in case you haven't seen isak's room, this (https://static01.nyt.com/images/2016/12/10/arts/10SKAM1/10SKAM1-master768.jpg) is a cute picture of julie andem on his bed ((((-:


End file.
